over the past 5 years and have gotten the job 99% of the time. I would just tell people I got the job already or the gig because I knew I would kill it in the interview/auditions process (periodt).
Reality hit me in the face yesterday. For the first time I was giving an acting job and because of my new baby fat (physical weight), I was cut from the role (sad face). I was literally told, “your body isn’t what we are looking for.” They said, “Melody you’re an amazing actress, but after we looked over the film footage of the scenes you’re in we noticed that your body isn’t the type for this character.” Wow! I know, I was just as shocked. I couldn’t control my emotions; thank God it was a zoom call. I was able to have my video turned off (and just try to clear the frog out of my throat). They said, “If it were based on your great acting ability you would still have the job.” “The job also required your physicality to be a certain way so unfortunately, we will be re-shooting the scene you were in with a new leading lady and putting you in a more suitable role (at least I didn’t get cut).” I was heartbroken.
I know, I know; Your thinking how dare them???? Heck, that’s what I was saying at first too. How could they not want me? I’m a beast at acting (very good) but let’s be honest. The truth is I’m not the same size woman that they cast in the role before my pregnancy. I can’t argue that.
As a new mom, we face so many challenges we are learning as we go. We already have our own self demons (postpartum to deal with). I just had a baby 4 months ago, and my confidence was already a bit low; if I’m honest. I took a candlelight bath with a glass of Rocasto wine (my fav) and cried and cried. I felt bad for myself and even thought to myself while looking in the mirror “You do look terrible”. I am the heaviest I have ever been and I hate the way I look in the mirror. I miss my old body. Seriously my legs are chunky and a bit cellulite-y (a new word I made up). I don’t care what anyone says. Nobody likes cellulite.
We should all know that, but we should also know we must be true to ourselves. If you don’t like the way you look you must make a change to get it the way you want it.
The pressures of a new mom are why postpartum is real. We have shared some weeks together that wasn’t pretty. It was the embarrassment for me …… More than anything. I’m Melody Renee the beauty Queen, right? This sister had to come down from my royal fat chair and be real with myself.
Yes, women have babies and gain weight some more than others. I can’t control that; the difference is celebrity women are able to have home chefs and personal trainers or even surgery to get their baby fat off. I and most of the women in the world do not. I wish I had that luxury ( one day) but for now, we just have my own self-discipline. Momsters, this hood is the hardest and scariest hood I’ve ever been in (parenthood). It’s still somehow the best hood, right? I find myself wanted to yell and kiss Smallz all at the same time (yikes). It’s hard as a first-time mom or an anytime mom. We need 400 pats on the back even if we are giving it to ourselves. One thing I know for sure is we (moms/parents) have to stick together and encourage one another whenever we can.
I reached out to colleagues who are also mother’s and she told me to be strong “Use all of this as motivation and be patient. You got this!!!” She inspired me to share this story. Tell someone out there who may also need to hear “YOU GOT THIS” and to never give up. I know that it seems as if everything is hitting you all at once when you are down, but I also know that God is strengthening me/you.
If you’re going through something like this or know someone who is remember we are being set up for so much better! Use all of this as fuel to push and fight for everything that you are destined to do and be! When one door closes, another bigger and better door is around the corner and it’s open! I know that right now it’s hard and we are hurt but girl/boy if you saw what everyone else saw when they see you, you would know that this is a setup for so much more! I KNOW YOU NEEDED TO HEAR THAT!!!!! I sure did. (Thanks for the pep talk girls)
Bottom line; it was an embarrassing moment and that’s a normal feeling. I also know that I have no reason to be embarrassed (I just had a baby). I did, however; have to be real with myself. If your finding yourself in the same predicament then let’s understand that procrastination and self-disciple do play a factor even if it’s a small one (be real with yourself). I need to start eating right, consistently working out in whatever area (you know where you’re bu**sh*ting). Trust me I’m going to get my tears out because it’s a normal human response and that’s actually healthy. You only get 24 hours then after that you must bring out your alien side (what’s your superpower?) and get on my/your grind because I know I’m super talented, beautiful, and loveable! This is all a combination for success in my field! I got this!!! And so do you !!!!!!
Please share any struggles you may have had as a new Momster and how you dealt with them in the comments?
Remember….Never give up….Never stop pushing…. Always believe in your dreams 444444444444444444444444444 Real because we are MOMSTER.